Best Bachelor Inventions and Innovations

Remote control:  Some of you won't remember the days when televisions had dials for changing channels.  Yes, you had to get up, walk to the TV, and change the channel.  The progress was great.  They then gave us a box with push buttons for each channel, and a cord running it to the TV.  The first wireless control had four buttons: On/Off, Channel up, Channel Down, and Volume.  It may not seem like much today, but in the eyes of an 11 year old bachelor to be, it was a window to what the future had to hold. 



Microwave Oven:  Anything that is worth eating can be cooked in a microwave.  Bacon and eggs in under 2 minutes.  Stress free cooking while you're doing the triple S (shit, shower, shave).  A true bachelor's kitchen is in his garage, or living room, and consists of a microwave and beer fridge. 







Online dating:  Are you kidding me?  This is the shit.  No need to get out of your jammies.  No need to bring your wing man along.  No need to get off the couch.  And, you can still pretend that you're a heart surgeon who drives a Ferrari to his summer home every weekend. 










The Roomba:  If you can actually convince your online sweetie to come over, you'd better clean up.  You could sit back and pull your goalie to some awesome porn, go to the liquor store to pick up your favourite liquid panty remover, or hustle that dating site a bit more, while this baby works some magic.

Faux grass:  Just like the real stuff without the mowing or watering. 











Online shopping/banking/etc.:  Having to put on pants, take a shower, comb your hair, find your wallet, walk out to the car, drive to the mall, find a parking spot, and all that other shit that pisses us off, is a thing of the past.  You can now pay your hydro bill, order some groceries, buy an undershirt, and pull your goalie to some international porn, without leaving the crib.   
 

Cupholders:  Lets just call this an in-car man purse.  We got all our shit in there...pens, change, gum, smokes, lighter, cell phone, rubbers, and occasionally, a coffee.  

Online Porn:  When you're needing a little love, it's now only a click away.  The bachelor once had to go to the seedy part of town to visit that theatre.  Eventually, quality film found it's way into his living room with the help of the home film projector, followed by the VCR, followed by the DVD player.  Now, you don't even have to leave the house to find some action.