Things That 1987 Didn't See Coming

Cell Phones
If 1987 was out, that meant it was too busy to talk.  If there was an emergency, it would stop at a phone booth.

Phone Features
1987 had none.  If it were on the phone, those calling would get a busy signal.  Call waiting did not exist and they could not leave a message on the voice mail.  If they really needed to talk to 1987, they'd call back until they got through.  I guess that was like a calling feature in itself, filtering out those who really didn't need to speak to it.
 
Heated Seats
1987 was lucky to have heat in the car.  Needed a warm ass?  1987 would tell you to stay home.

Cost of Smokes
A $2 bill would get 1987 a large pack of smokes, a large coffee, and it would still get some change.  And, it was able to smoke in hospitals, colleges and universities, restaurants and bars, and in the workplace.

Tim Horton's Expansion
1987 would have put its money on Country Style Donuts.  They were on every corner and had better coffee.  They still have better coffee but people don't pay attention because that's what "effective" marketing does. 

Internet
1987 had a search engine but you had to go to your neighbourhood library.  It was called the Dewey Decimal System.  Sending an email was a long process.  It would involve a pen and paper, maybe a typewriter, an envelope and stamps.  Delivery was a bit slower, and not always dependable or accurate.  1987's version of Facebook expected you to get out of the house and see your friends.  The only wall you might have written on was the bathroom wall at the coffee shop that you and the guys hung out at every night.   
 
Health and Nutrition
1987 would not believe the amount of people belonging to a gym or taking yoga lessons today.  1987 was all about fast food and awesome preservatives that kept twinkies fresh forever.  

Drinking and Driving
In 1987, the person who was the least drunk, was the designated driver.


Power windows as standard equipment
1987 would not understand why every car today thinks it's a Cadillac.

Autotuner
1987's version of autotuner was practice and vocal coaching.  Now you can sing like an idiot and a machine will fix your shitty voice.

MP3 players
1987 wants to know where the tape is at.  Where the fuck is the music coming from?  And when did Walkmans get so small? 


Faux hawks
1987 would give itself a faux hawk in the shower to see what a mohawk might look like.  But, it would not dare to bring that shit out on the street. 

Baggy pants
1987 wants to taper your pyjamas and get you a pair of suspenders or a belt.  Pick that shit up cause you're gonna trip on it.

George Michael's arrest
He did what, where?

Honda Civic
1987 could never give up its Mustang or Camaro to mod up these rust buckets.